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Say it ain’t so, Bob

November 11, 2009
Say it ain’t so, Bob

Guelph Mercury, 11/11/09 Sing it Bob. Or croak it, or whatever that sound coming from your throat is. Don’t mind us. We’ll just be sitting here, squinting from the very back row of this old hockey rink, knees banging on the heads of the guys in front of us, trying to figure out what...
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We feel your pain, Montreal

November 4, 2009
We feel your pain, Montreal

Guelph Mercury, 04/11/09 Ah, another day in the Royal City. Take a trip down the dirt road that used to be our main street, around yet another detour, over the craters in the streets and past the mob of thugs shaking the bus full of city officials. And some other city thinks they’ve got...
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Local seafood? No thanks, I’m from Ontario

October 28, 2009
Local seafood? No thanks, I’m from Ontario

Guelph Mercury, 28/10/09 In Ontario, we like to say the more local, the better. Unless it comes from the sea. We want our beef to be raised within 100 miles or less. We want to know the cow’s mother, what she ate, and how she voted in the last election. We howl when someone...
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Do good couches go to heaven?

October 21, 2009
Do good couches go to heaven?

Guelph Mercury, 21/10/09 Nobody writes obituaries for old couches. But maybe they should. Especially for this one. It looked like a chesterfield but drooped like a hammock. If you needed a nap, its asbestos-filled upholstery would lull you into a two-day pass-out that cats can only dream of. Best of all, it collected change...
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Recall this! We’re surrounded by junk

October 14, 2009
Recall this! We’re surrounded by junk

Guelph Mercury, 14/10/09 Try explaining to your 85-year-old grandmother why she had two CD players die in one weekend, but her 35-year-old radio keeps humming along. Or how she can make an entire Thanksgiving meal with the same cookware and appliances she’s been using since the 1950s—all of it remarkably still working, mostly made...
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Disney World’s over. Now, let’s grow up.

October 8, 2009
Disney World’s over. Now, let’s grow up.

Guelph Mercury, 07/10/09 It sure sucks to be young. What with all the health and freedom from mortgages, and all that. But what about all these studies showing young people are bearing the brunt of this recession, which we’re told is now officially over? Unless it’s not. That’s bad news for us whippersnappers, no?...
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City needs to grow, wisely

October 3, 2009
City needs to grow, wisely

Guelph Mercury, 10/02/09 Rural land needs to be protected. Even city folk understand that. And why wouldn’t we. No one wants to live in a province where the cities go on for ever. No one wants our farms and forests to constantly give way to more subdivisions and strip malls. (Brampton or Mississauga, anyone?)...
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Forgive my suspicions on this new deal

September 23, 2009
Forgive my suspicions on this new deal

Guelph Mercury, 09/23/09 Happy days are here again. Yeehaw. Government money is once again falling from the sky for one of Guelph’s favourite corporate welfare cases, Linamar Corporation. This week, the city’s largest employer celebrated another gift from taxpayers, a $54.8 million “repayable,” interest-free loan handed over by none other than Prime Minister Stephen...
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