Psst! Don’t tell City Hall, but I know a guy who knows a guy who can get you bottles of vitamin C for just $5.99. If you’re willing to spend a little extra, he can find you some of that echinacea all the kids are into, too. He buys the stuff at the local...
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Look into their cold, beady eyes my friends. Do you see any speck of compassion, any concern for our well-being? No you do not. Why? Because beavers do not have hearts. They do not care for our troubles. They do not care for us. Beavers care only for themselves and nothing else. But I...
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What a wild week for news. Without warning, Guelph was thrown into the national media spotlight. The stories only grew stranger by the minute. If you’re looking for someone to explain it all, call Peter Mansbridge. But if he’s busy, here’s all you really need to know: Robo-calls: A rash of phone calls made...
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Ah, city life. Guelph’s municipal leaders recently announced they want to double the city’s so-called tree canopy, or the amount of land covered by trees when viewed from above, to up to 40 per cent of our total space. Right now, we’re at 20 per cent, about on par with most Canadian cities. Mayor...
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The middle-aged lady sitting next to me on the plane leaned over and confessed. “I don’t think women should be boxing. It doesn’t seem right to me,” she said. This was after I’d just told her I had spent the week in Sydney, N. S., covering the Canadian amateur boxing championships for my newspaper,...
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If we could see into the future, how our lives would be different. I would probably never have grown that mullet in Grade 3, for starters. But enough about that. On this day, as another December prepares to fade from view, we’re looking forward, not back. Without further delay, here at my predictions for...
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It’s the kind of story that seems too far-fetched, too ridiculous to be true. Two top executives from the biggest company in the land get so stinko on an overnight flight to Beijing that the pilot has to make an emergency detour hours out of the way just to have them arrested. When the...
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We try to lead good lives. We help old ladies cross the street. We donate to charity and always call our mother on her birthday. So, doesn’t it just seem so terribly unfair when an assassin is hired to kill you, all for a measly $80,000? The Ontario Provincial Police in Wellington County recently...
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Shhhh, use your inside voice. That’s better. Our fair city, it turns out, has a problem with noise. And city hall, like an angry father banging on the bedroom door, looks like it’s finally had it with all the racket. Just this week, two residents told city councillors they need to crack down on...
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At the very least, give them an award for creativity. Guelph residents wrote impassioned letters and made pleas to city council this week voicing their opposition to a proposed condo building at 180 Gordon St., near the Speed River. One man summed it all up by saying the whole project is “downright disrespectful to…...
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