Guelph Mercury, 30/12/09 These are confusing times. But relax, dear readers. If poorly-paid newspaper columnists are good at anything, it’s telling you exactly what will happen before it happens. So get out your notepads. Without further delay, here are the Mercer Retort’s predictions for 2010. 1) The young woman who tackled Olympic torchbearer Cortney...
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Guelph Mercury, 12/16/2009 Somewhere deep inside a frozen mountain near Whistler, B.C., lays a list hidden in a dark cave guarded by heavily-armed figure skaters and other lugers. It’s not just any list. In fact, it’s The List. And the paranoid people running Canada’s Olympic celebration don’t want you to see it. The List...
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Guelph Mercury, 09/12/09 If you squint just right, you can almost see this place the way Tom Bradburn remembers it. You’d believe the street that runs past his tiny vintage car shop at a fork in the road in Guelph’s old Ward neighbourhood used to be one happening stretch of asphalt. From a triangle...
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Guelph Mercury, 02/12/09 Why is everybody suddenly driving with their heads down, staring at their crotches? No reason, officer. But I can tell you this much. We are not hiding the fact we are still texting. No sir. Ontario’s new handheld device law for drivers is well-intentioned. It’s for our safety, and who can...
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