GregMercer.ca Newspapering and other adventures

2009: There’s always booze

The Guelph Mercury, 1/17/2009

We’re right in the thick of it now, aren’t we?

We haven’t seen the sun in a month. It’s so bloody cold outside even teenagers are covering up. In the middle of this past week, the weatherman told us to expect a high — yes, a high — of -14 C. Something to look forward to.

The words of the year, dripping like open sores from our newspapers are: crisis, meltdown, layoffs, jobless, disaster. Every day, we’re brought more bad news about these bad times — it seems everyone is laying off someone.

The latest in Guelph are coming from Hitachi Construction Truck Manufacturing, where another 58 are out of work. “Layoffs a complete surprise,” yelled the headline. As if.

Even Thomas McCollum, the Guelph Storm’s shutout king, has left for the sunny shores of Brampton. And what did we get for passing on the playoffs? A couple of 17 year olds and a bag of pucks.

So far, 2009 is shaping up to be one big punch in the gut. The four horsemen of the Apocalypse would’ve probably ridden by already, if it wasn’t for danger of frostbite.

Even city hall is considering limiting the one thing that keeps us all from driving off the Gordon Street bridge and into the knee-deep Speed River.

They want us to use Tim Hortons drive-thrus less. And what, walk in the door? Imagine.

Everyone is sour. Pale faces are scowling on the sidewalk, ready to break into a scrap at any moment.

City bus drivers in Waterloo Region are so delicate right now they say being asked to call out their stops for blind passengers would only add to their stress levels, and put their “health and safety” at risk, according to Rick Lonergan, president of Local 4304 of the Canadian Auto Workers.

This week, in the dead of winter, outside workers for the City of Waterloo were threatening to stop plowing streets and cleaning hockey rinks. All for a few bucks an hour. Not that they can be really blamed, though. The latest studies show we can all expect to work into our 70s because our pensions have evaporated like second helpings at the soup kitchen.

If you haven’t already declared personal bankruptcy, you probably will in the coming year, the experts tell us.

And, if you don’t declare bankruptcy, there’s a good chance you’ll be among the growing lineup outside the County of Wellington social services office, where right now they’re trying to figure out how to meet the increased demand after the City of Guelph just slashed its social services spending.

Some of us in this dire era are turning to crime, and even getting our parents involved.

Last Monday, police raided a house in Palmerston, hauling out a mother and son team they say had been selling marijuana and magic mushrooms to the good townsfolk.

In tough times, family sticks together.

I work in an industry, newspapers, that is increasingly feeling like one big funeral parlour. Colleagues on all sides are talking about getting out of the business, going back to school, or moving back in with their parents — something some 40 per cent of college graduates are planning to do, according to a new study. It’s dark days, as far as the eye can see.

Somewhere out there people are getting suntans, swimming, and having barbecues. We’re just trying to get to our cars before our fingers go numb.

Could it get any worse? Of course it could. What we really need right now is some perspective. All bad times come to an end. Always have, always will.

The sun will reappear, eventually, the air will warm, and the economy will turn around.

In the meantime, keep your chin up. Plus, there’s always booze.